How My Sister Insulted Me When I Told Her I Was Writing a Book
- Dating, What You May Be Doing Wrong
Today I want to share the story of how my little sister, Daryl, met her husband, Dave.
Daryl was in her 20’s, living and dating in New York City. She’s very bright, sarcastic, and intolerant of “games” and B.S. As a result, Daryl had a rough go with the lawyers and bankers available to her in NYC. She decided to branch out.
She dated a cute guy in Minnesota, followed by a charming guy in Chicago, followed by a separated heartbreaker in New York.
All were impressive men. None lasted. Daryl decided to go on “guyatus”, as she was burned out on both New York and long-distance love affairs.
It was around that time that I wrote my first book, “I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating”. Before I sent it to an agent, I wanted to get my bookish sister’s opinion on things.
The first thing Daryl said to me was, “Why would anybody read a book by YOU?”
The second thing she said to me was, “Online dating is creepy.”
I knew I‘d found my target audience.
Long story short:
- Daryl enjoyed my book – even though she thought she wouldn’t.
- She started dating online – even though she thought she wouldn’t.
- After a few years of trial and error – and being this close to quitting – Daryl tried a different website I’d recommended, Nerve.
- On a lark, she replied to a older, bald guy who wrote to her from San Francisco – even though she said she didn’t want to do long-distance again.
- 7 months later, she moved to San Francisco.
- 3 years later, the were married.
I’m only sharing this with you because my extremely bright sister, was WRONG about everything she firmly believed.
The only reason she went on her honeymoon in Bali is because she was open to the possibility that her beliefs weren’t 100% foolproof.
If you want to get a different result in your love life, you have to try a different method.
If you want to get a different result in your love life, you have to try a different method.
Contrast Daryl’s story with Amy, a 42-year-old woman who reached out to me for dating coaching last week.
I like Amy. She’s successful, family-oriented, looks great for her age, and is an information seeker. After a few minutes, it was clear that had already read a lot of my work.
I LOVE clients like this.
Except Amy didn’t become a client.
She didn’t become a client because Amy believed – based on her experiences – that there was nothing she could do differently. The real problem is everyone else.
“I’ve used JDate for 10 years. There’s nobody on there for me.”
“It’s guys in Los Angeles. They’re Peter Pans who won’t settle down and are always looking for someone younger.”
“Men out here don’t appreciate someone with ethnic looks. They all want California blondes.”
“I keep meeting men who are so messed up. They’re all out for sex. They don’t have any money. I’m not going to support a man.”
Can you appreciate Amy’s point of view? I sure can. It’s built on years and years of failure, frustration and disappointment.
Amy’s experience is REAL. As real as the nose on her face. And because it’s real, she also believes that it’s TRUE.
Then again, my sister truly believed that no one would read a book by me, that online dating was creepy, that long-distance relationships were doomed, and that men were all heartbreakers. That was her experience before meeting Dave.
I could easily refute Amy’s point of view – but she would rather hold onto it, believing that she’s “right”– than open up to a new way of dating like Daryl did.
And it’s a shame, because Amy has SO MUCH to give.
As a result, she loses sight of the fact that I’M a guy who dated on JDate, I’M a guy who prefers older women to younger women, I’M a guy who prefers brunettes to blondes, I’M a guy who looks young for my age. I’M a guy who wants to be a good husband and father.
And if I’M that kind of guy, it only stands to reason that there are thousands of others like me in Southern California.
Amy’s just not meeting them. And she will continue not meeting them…
Because her online dating profile and communication need improving.
Because her attitude about men needs adjusting.
Because her radar for “quality men” is really off.
Because she would rather hold onto her glass half-empty worldview and be “right” than try my glass half-full worldview which will create better results.
Instead, Amy is going to keep reading my advice and hope that Mr. Right – an ethnic lover from another state – comes and fishes her out of her office.
As I said – I like Amy – but she’s going to be waiting for a while.
You don’t have to.
After only a few months of dating coaching, you can learn what thousands of women have learned before you – and receive the same empowering results.
Here’s what Kathryn had to say to me last week after learning the lessons in my Finding the One Online program and starting her private coaching:
Evan,
Wanted to let you know that your coaching session yesterday was great. While we were on the phone Bob emailed me again and we’re going to a fantastic restaurant Saturday night. He’s sounding more interesting by the minute.
And, this morning I logged onto Match and three hot new guys emailed me, two of whom are local and want to meet me and the other one just wanted to tell me just how super hot I was. The two local guys were responding to my funny “Evan” emails which by now I may not be perfect at but they’re pretty terrific if I do say so myself. I’ve never had three new guys email me in one day. Something must be in the air!!
K
Kathryn is 59-years-old and has 3 hot guys emailing her.
How do you think you can do with my guidance?
Warmest wishes and much love,
Your friend,
Evan
p.s. Marie was close to giving up on finding love online, until she started doing it my way.
I felt defeated after numerous attempts on 3 online dating sites, (four years) going out dancing, at least 3 times a week, in general all my efforts were pretty sad. I wanted to understand how could I put into words that I am a simple person, not my outer beauty, focus on pulling in the one who “gets” me. I needed acceptance in the way online dating operates, the nature of the beast, learning the ability to stand out, what a challenge, but I stood out, thanks to you!
I have always been overwhelmed with responses, my delete key was showing signs of aging, LOL, then one day while vacationing in Rocky Point, Mexico, Byron sent me a response, pretty much the same one I always received, “OMG! your not 62! I graciously accepted his compliment and we have been contacting each other every day, numerous times day.
One quick note, he is 51, I always attract very young suitors, as young as 33, 47, 50 and even 60 and 70, Byron, is feeling like the “one”. …he is moving mountains to be with me, we live 130 miles apart…I am self-employed, he is a truck driver…go figure..
I felt like there is hope, this has been a four year process, talk about the clock ticking away :)….best investment for my heart…tears come to my eyes often, as I send you my deepest “THANK YOU!”…for being my teacher and I your student for the rest of my life…..age, distance, really!
Marie thinks she’s found “the one.”
Now it’s YOUR turn.
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