The Most Important Quality Men Value in Women
- Dating, What Men Want
Do you remember what it’s like to be in an exciting new relationship?
You’ve got this electric chemistry and everything’s going swimmingly.
He calls you every day.
He introduces you to his friends.
He talks about making vacation plans in the future.
In only a few weeks together, you feel like this was meant to be…and your mind goes wild with the possibilities.
You can’t help yourself.
You think about him at work.
You text him on the way home from work.
You daydream about what life will be like when you’re married.
And then it ends. Abruptly. Without explanation.
The problem is that — in relationships with flawed humans and flawed communication — the truth is often really hard to find.
You’re blindsided. And you want answers. I don’t blame you.
I’ve been in the exact same position and I wanted answers, too.
The problem is, you can never get them from your ex.
That’s why I wrote, “Why He Disappeared.” As a male dating coach who specializes in helping women understand men, I have compiled all the answers for you.
Click here to get clarity and closure on all of those past relationships.
You’ve gone through the pain and confusion that comes with breaking up. Maybe you made peace with the past, maybe you haven’t.
But if you’re anything like me, you’re constantly seeking the truth.
The problem is that — in relationships with flawed humans and flawed communication — the truth is often really hard to find.
The good news is that, in this blog, you’re going to learn one of the main truths that women go their whole life without learning.
I first realized that this truth was a revelation after giving a speech to a group of 100 singles, aged 25-40.
My speaking engagements are always fun, with lots of laughter and crowd participation. But every night has its surprises. And this speech provided a revelation.
Despite the raucous laughter and the nodding heads, there was one time that you could hear a pin drop.
It was when I was talking about what men REALLY want out of women.
It’s different than what women want out of men.
You assume that because you value certain traits in men; men value the same thing in women.
In general, women want men to be leaders. They want someone tall, masculine, intelligent, and decisive. They want him to be a passionate captain of industry — a man who can hold a room with his charisma, tell a story that makes your sides split, and can bring home the bacon as well.
That alpha male is very attractive and most women are attracted to him.
The glitch is that this man is not looking for a woman who’s just like him.
And THAT’s the big blind spot for many intelligent, successful women.
You assume that because you value certain traits in men; men value the same thing in women.
NOT TRUE.
It’s not that intelligence, money, and leadership are unimportant to men; it’s that they place a distant second compared to the most important trait:
How you make him FEEL.
That’s right. It’s not your list of credentials that impress men — it’s how they feel about themselves when they’re with you.
So if your greatest strengths are your intellectual curiosity, your tenacity at work, and your ability to analyze and debate your stance on every issue under the sun, you’d definitely be the person he wants to HIRE.
But who does he want to date?
The woman who asks him about himself.
The woman who laughs at his jokes.
The woman who doesn’t give him a hard time about hanging out with his friends.
The woman who trusts him.
The woman who is up for anything on the weekends and everything in bed.
The woman whose default setting is happy, not stressed/angry/anxious.
Simply put: if he feels GOOD about hanging around with you, he’s going to want to hang around with you forever. But if you think that he’s going to be drawn to you for your ACCOMPLISHMENTS — your degree, your job, your home, your impressive hobbies — you’re really missing something fundamental to men.
The great thing is that this is something you can shift TODAY.
Just by understanding that men like to FEEL good — not emasculated, not second guessed, not browbeaten — you can become the ideal girlfriend instantly.
Imagine if a man were to become the ideal BOYFRIEND. What would he have to do?
Make plans in advance.
Pick up the check.
Call every day.
Leave his weekends open.
Talk openly about commitment, family, and future.
Simple stuff, huh? Yet most men fall short, don’t they? It’s because they either don’t KNOW how to be better boyfriends or they don’t CARE.
Just by understanding that men like to FEEL good… you can become the ideal girlfriend instantly.
I can’t say whether you care about being a better girlfriend, but now you’ve got no excuse. You KNOW what men want.
How good are you going to be at giving it?
I talk about this extensively in Why He Disappeared — how you can be smart, strong and successful and still be easygoing and nurturing.
It’s not a contradiction — no more than it’s a contradiction for a busy entrepreneur to be emotionally available or a charismatic alpha male to be a good listener.
However, you might notice that men who are consumed with their careers are not always available, and men who are charismatic often like to hear themselves talk.
I can’t make a guy into a better listener; but I can share subtle ways in which you can make men feel better when they’re around you.
Thanks for reading, as always. Can’t wait to show you a new path to love.
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