Why Hot Guys and Girls Are Like Red Meat – They Will Kill You in the Long Run
- Becoming Exclusive, Dating
Last week, I got a call from a distraught woman named Michelle. Early 40’s, attractive, intelligent, funny – and utterly demoralized by this guy that she’d been seeing. They had a passionate first month, and then, after one awkward conversation, he pulled away. But not fully. He would still send her regular texts saying that he missed her – although he didn’t actually DO anything to make plans with her.
Since Michelle knew a lot about nutrition, I decided to communicate with her in metaphors she’d easily understand. I told her that the super-attractive guys with whom she felt the most chemistry were like fried foods – they may taste really good, but, in the long run, they’re really bad for you.
Having read my advice before, Michelle set up a coaching call to find out how she could get this guy back.
Since Michelle knew a lot about nutrition, I decided to communicate with her in metaphors she’d easily understand. I told her that the super-attractive guys with whom she felt the most chemistry were like fried foods – they may taste really good, but, in the long run, they’re really bad for you.
Her immediate reaction was to protest, “But nice guys are so boring!”
“So are vegetables,” I said. “But if you want to live a long, healthy life, you can’t do better than eating healthy. If you think that you’re going to be the one person who doesn’t get heart disease on a steady diet of bad food, you’ve got another thing coming.”
She laughed. “But I LIKE bad food.”
“EVERYBODY likes bad food,” I reminded her. “But if you want to know the main reason that you’re single, it’s because you keep on eating steak every night and are continually shocked that you don’t lose weight. Steak is always gonna be bad for you. Hot, emotionally unavailable guys will, too.”
That conversation was four days ago.
Here’s what Michelle wrote to me this morning:
Hello Evan;
I cannot begin to tell you what a difference our conversation has made in my life. I am so extremely grateful to you. I walked into two of my clients’ houses yesterday and they said, “What’s his name?” because they said I was glowing and luminous. They’ve only seen me look like that before when I was infatuated with a new man. But I now feel this way because a huge weight has been lifted and I have a new path and outlook for my future. Do you have any idea how HUGE that is? I hope I just gave you the compliment of the year because that is BIG stuff; to make that kind of a difference with one phone conversation. And I’m a tough sell… so take the compliment 🙂
“I just can’t even tell you. I’m a new person. You got through like know one else has ever been able to.”
I’ve already made changes and “cleaned house”. There are a couple of guys that still text me that before talking to you, I would occasionally go out with, simply because they’re hot and funny, but they have big problems I overlooked before. I’m no longer going to date them.
I have several men that I didn’t give a chance to, simply because I didn’t think they were sexy enough. I’m reconnecting with them. Last night I started talking to a guy who seems GREAT and is handsome, funny and seems really sincere. Prior to talking to you, I wouldn’t have gone out with him simply because he is 5”² 8”³. I now think that’s silly and I’m definitely going to go on a date with him.
I just can’t even tell you. I’m a new person. You got through like no one else has ever been able to. I’m sure I’ll need another session soon, just to make sure I get on the right track with the next guy I date… but you showed me that my only problem has been chasing “lust”, not life partners.
xoxo
Michelle
This email literally brought tears to my eyes. Such a radical change – in just one phone call!
I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to produce breakthrough results for special women and men who want more power and control over their love lives.
So if you’re confused about the current state of your relationship… if you wonder whether you’re investing time in the right partner or wasting time with the wrong one…if you are concerned that time is passing and you’re no closer to happiness than you were a year ago, don’t hesitate.
Alas, coaching is not free. If you want free advice, you can go read my blog.
But if you’re smart and serious about love – and have had the same issues with dating and relationships over and over and over again, coaching is the best investment you could ever make.
Just ask my newly empowered friend, Michelle.
Talk to you soon.
Your friend,
Evan
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