Amber is 34, attractive, smart, free-spirited, creative and spiritual…
That’s the good part
The bad part?
She works 80 hours a week, wants to date only men in the film industry, considers herself very choosy…and she very much wants to have a family.
How many core Evan Marc Katz dating principles could she violate at once?
Let’s count.
She’s very choosy – and doesn’t want to open up her boundaries to other men the way I have, my wife has and my sister has.
She refuses to date online – it’s creepy and unnatural and definitely not for people who think outside the box like Amber.
She wants to date another Hollywood person – because only they can understand her passion for movies. Her dream is to make films with her husband.
She wants to date another spiritual guy – once again, only they can understand her.
She definitely doesn’t want to actively look for a guy. She wants love to be organic.
Got it.
Let’s crack this open, blind spot by blind spot, but first I want to give you the opportunity to see E-Cyrano Profile writing services. If you don’t have to read all the way to the end, click here now.
First of all, Amber’s biggest problem is that she wants to date herself with a penis.
(Yes, she laughed when I said this, and no, she didn’t deny it.)
The thing is that there aren’t many cute, successful, passionate, stable, spiritual, family-oriented, ready-to-settle-down, young filmmakers in Hollywood.
Many of those filmmakers – and remember, I was one of them – are often arrogant, narcissistic, selfish, highly emotional, particular, fickle, depressed, flighty artists.
And the handful of men that do qualify may not be as cute, or as spiritual, or successful, or as family-oriented as Amber wants.
So Amber has two choices: hold out for her perfect fictional guy (who has only good qualities, but none of the bad ones), or compromise on something.
You already know what she chooses to do.
Thankfully, Amber’s attractive. She gets hit on by men all the time. She rejects most of them, but every once in awhile she lets someone in.
The current man she’s seeing is wonderful and she connects with him on many levels. Except he’s already told her that he doesn’t want to get married or have kids.
Predictable.
Of course, Amber’s still seeing him, or whatever it means to date someone when you’re already working 80 hours a week.
Does it sound like I’m being harsh on Amber? Or am I merely pointing out what’s obvious?
Her actions and her goals aren’t aligned.
She wants to date a man who wants kids, but she spends her time dating men who don’t.
She wants to settle down and find love, but she relies on a bunch of independent filmmakers as her dating pool – the same dating pool that has led to her being single at age 34.
And then there’s what she said to me next, which drove me to write this email:
“When I meet the man of my dreams, of course I’ll make time for him!”
(By the way, she said this without a shred of irony. So I’ll repeat:)
“When I meet the man of my dreams, of course I’ll make time for him!”
Got it.
In the meantime, however, Amber is going to work 80 hours a week, only bothering to hook up with cute, spiritual guys who want to be the next Spielberg
She won’t give me a half-hour a day to date online.
She won’t give up her dream of making movies with her husband.
All she knows is that when he comes along, she’s going to reprioritize.
This is patently ridiculous.
No different than “when the right job comes along, then I’m going to start working hard”, or “when the weight melts off, I’m going to start working out.
Amber’s got the order backward!
You don’t “make time for the right guy”, you make time to MEET the right guy.
If you don’t make time to meet him – to go on Match, to go to parties, to schedule a date every weekend – there will be no right guy to make time for!
So, please, don’t fall into the trap that Amber has.
Make time for love and love will make time for you.
Make time for love and love will make time for you.
Set up a brilliant profile on Match, log on for a half-hour a day, flirt with 7 to 10 guys at a time, and you’ll be on your way.
And if that all sounds a bit daunting and you want a roadmap on how to do it, I’ve got it for you.
First step, get yourself an e-Cyrano profile.
You talk. We write. The results are magical.
And soon, you can write me an email that sounds a little something like this
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
I just LOVE my profile!!!!!!!! 🙂 It feels so very much like me and I am very proud and excited to be uploading it to my online service.
You really captured my essence and the things that are important to me. I love how you’ve crafted and included so much detail from all those stories and our conversation. I don’t know how you managed to do it in so few words, but you did
Thanks for everything! You my friend, you are super-genius and I’m deeply appreciative of what you’ve done for me. Lucky, lucky clients who can work with you in the future.
If you ever, ever come visit Portland again, please look me up. 🙂
Thanks!
Teresa
Thousands of women have already done it and found love.
You can, too.
Warmest wishes and much love.
Your friend,
Evan
Dating 
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