Adventures in Online Dating, Volume 3

Week 4 in Online Dating Bootcamp was a jam-packed session. We have so much information to cover in such a short period of time that I’m sure I talk a mile a minute. But everyone was in attendance and – thru the miracle of modern technology – was able to look at my desktop as we searched thru the men on Joanna’s favorites list..

And, in no time, the entire class learned that the goal of your first email is not to issue a compliment or find some shared interest – but simply to make the other person smile.

Here’s what Joanna had to say about it…

The entire class learned that the goal of your first email is not to issue a compliment or find some shared interest — but simply to make the other person smile.

During Week 4, Evan taught us a couple of techniques for writing initial emails to people on our favorites list. The first method, called “opinion openers”, was pretty self explanatory — you write and offer up your observation about something (from NPR to Gaddafi to the Da Vinci Code). Instead of stating a fact (“I like biking, too!”) that leads nowhere, you get an opportunity to start a conversation. The second method was called “fun fiction”. You choose something written in a profile and apply it to yourself in a fake way. Not easy! Evan said that the element of surprise is what will make the reader laugh (and hopefully respond). He illustrated the technique, using a profile comment about a man who “liked Mexican and Italian food and could cook it too”. The fun fiction email then became “My patented chimichanga parmesan recipe was rejected by Taco Bell!” There’s a little more to it, but you get the point.

Eureka!

Finally, I had a way to write to more people, since most profiles are generic and don’t give you a lot of good material with which to work. I decided to make my first feeble attempt with fun fiction. I chose one of my favorite guys, and picked the phrase “girl next door” out of his profile. I wrote that it is tough being the girl next door to him – we don’t have front porches these days, so he can’t be out there catching the aroma of the brownies I have cooking in the oven. Plus, there was that dodgy association with Hugh Hefner. 🙂 I closed confidently, as Evan recommended.

Guess what?

He wrote back the same day, said he liked my email/profile/pictures (thanks/thanks/thanks Evan) and by the way, if I was curious, he liked his brownies without nuts.

It worked!