You know the narrative. Men suck. There are no good ones left. They’re all narcissists or losers or emotionally unavailable. The cute ones don’t want to settle down. The ones who want to settle down aren’t attractive. When you finally find one you like, the compromises are too great. I’m not here to argue with you. What I will say, as a happily married dating coach, is that you have two choices: accept him as he is or dump him. What you can’t do is stay in a relationship with a man who you’re constantly criticizing and wanting to change. My take: if you can find one man on Earth you can fully accept, you’ll both be happy for the rest of your life.
Should You Be Happy Alone?
My smart, successful clients have all loved and lost. Yet they recovered to rebuild their lives and fill it with meaningful work, travel, hobbies and friendship. Today’s question is whether this is enough. Is being happy alone a condition for finding love or is a trap that allows you to stay alone indefinitely? What’s the benefit of lasting love when being single is better than being in a bad relationship? In this Love U Podcast, I do my best to explain.
Men Are About Feelings
While it’s easy to get mad at guys who overvalue youth and beauty, the truth is that you need more than looks to be with a quality man. In fact, quality men are all about how you make them FEEL. If your default behavior in relationships is to feel anxious and critical of your partner, it’s time to choose better men and make a big shift in how you show up. It’s a challenging concept but one that is very much worth your while. Plus, I tear up when I read a Valentine’s Day card from my wife, so that’s always fun.
3 Steps to Determine If He Gets a Second Date
When you’ve had bad luck with men, it’s easy to question your judgment. How important is chemistry? When can you tell if there’s compatibiity? How much time should you invest to discover if there’s enough of both? Most women waste years on the wrong men – and have no idea what to do differently. Today, I’m going to give you a three step process to determine if a man deserves another date, and why it’s essential to cut him off quickly if he doesn’t.
Everyone is Someone’s Second Choice
Don Miguel Ruiz wrote The Four Agreements. One of them is “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” Nowhere is that more relevant than in the world of dating. Texting, hooking up, ghosting, breadcrumbing, endless amounts of rejection. And yet none of it is personal. No one is out to get you. You’re just collateral damage in someone else’s journey. To succeed in dating, you need a strong ego – and you also have to know when to put it aside. If you’ve ever been offended that a guy you barely dated returns after a layoff, it’s time to let that shit go and get happy.
A Thought Experiment To Help You Persevere In Dating
No one wants to become a dating expert. No one wants to go on 300 dates. No one wants to renew their Match membership. Yet, in order to find someone special, there is nothing more valuable than the power of perseverence. If you are one of the many people who have been dating online, on and off, for many years, I’m going to make a case for why you should never be off. You may be missing out on your soulmate.
I Was Wrong
After 20 years of coaching, 1000 blog posts, 300 podcasts, I was bound to make some mistakes. We’re all human. We all have biases. We all have blind spots. On this episode, I’m going to share a few ways in which I’ve evolved over time and make a case for how it’s important to know the rules before you make exceptions to the rules.
How You Can Be Your Most Authentic in Dating
Dating brings up all your insecurities. Am I attractive enough? Young enough? Smart enough? Am I worthy? When those thoughts are running through your head, it’s hard to be the best version of you. What IS the best version of you? Well, after listening to Selena Gomez on Smartless talk about her mental health issues that stem from being in the public eye, the only word that came to mind was AUTHENTIC. So today, we’re going to talk about why you must stop caring about what men think and start focusing on what YOU think.
There Is No Going Back
If you’ve ever tried to rekindle a relationship with your ex, you’re aware of how powerful the allure can be. There’s a deep love, a deep understanding, a deep friendship that you don’t want to let go of. It seems much more comforting to go back to someone you love than to try your hand at meeting strangers online. Yet there’s a reason there’s a book called “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.” It’s because you and your ex are incompatible. That’s why you broke up in the first place and why you’re probably going to break up again. In this Love U Podcast, I share the story of a client who can’t seem to kick her habit of returning to her exes. I hope you can learn from her experiences.
Avoid the Overcorrection
If you were in a relationship without passion, you’ll look for passion your next partner. If you were with a financially unstable man, it makes sense to seek a man who is much wealthier. But sometimes, when you’re trying to correct a problem, you end up OVERCORRECTING. And when you swing too far in the other direction in reaction to your last relationship, you just end up making a different set of mistakes. Listen closely to avoid overcorrecting in the future.
