You’re busy. You’ve got work. You’ve got friends. You’ve got family. You’ve got travel and hobbies and anxiety and health issues. So many things are out of our control – and those things can slowly erode a solid relationship. In this Love U Podcast, I share a few stories about couples – including my wife and I – who managed to pull together when life was pulling us in apart. Life isn’t always set up for love. That’s why you have to prioritize it.
Run Toward Intimacy, Not Away From It!
When you’ve been hurt before, the obvious move is to avoid getting hurt again. Guy slept with you and never called? Stop dating. Guy didn’t want to be your boyfriend after two months? Stop dating. Guy didn’t want to marry you after two years? Stop dating. Because intimacy has always led to heartbreak, your choices in men actually become WORSE. Suddenly, you’re in a friends with benefits situation. Suddenly, you’re seeing someone long-distance. Suddenly, you’re exclusive with a man who doesn’t want to get married. Why? Because somehow it feels safer to be in a dead-end situation than to be with someone where things could get real – and you could get hurt. It’s time to break that pattern and start moving towards the men who really want to commit – not away from them.
It’s Not Only Men Who Are Emotionally Unavailable
It’s unfortunately commonplace for women to fall in love with men, who, due a confluence of events, are not emotionally available for the relationship that she wants. Sometimes, he’s separated. Sometimes, he’s divorce. Sometimes, he doesn’t know what he’s looking for. Sometimes, he slammed with the normal trials of middle-aged men: loss of work, sickness, dying parents, depressed kids. Doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. Might mean he’s a bad guy to date right now. And, if that’s the case, doesn’t it stand to reason that a few good women might also be emotionally unavailable? Why yes. Yes, it does.
Are Your Needs Not Being Met By Your Man?
After 15 years with my wife, I realize I’ve lost touch with a common emotion: being in a dissatisfying relationship but not having the courage to leave. The gap between the confidence my clients display at work and the insecurity they display in relationships is astonishing. This all just goes to show that we’re emotional people, often raised with poor role models, who don’t believe we deserve more from love than what we’re getting now. Here’s the good news: at any point in time, you can make a different choice. You can raise your standards. You can say no. You can find someone who loves you unconditionally and wants to take care of you. But it doesn’t start with him changing his behavior because you love him; it starts with you setting a boundary and dumping any man whose behavior makes you feel consistently anxious.
Do Men Have Feelings, Too?
I know men are supposed to be heartless and soulless. Sex machines who only text. Losers with no moral compass. Opponents on the battlefield of love. Surely, some of them are. But more of them, you may be surprised to remember, are actual human beings. Like you, they’re attracted to what they’re attracted to. Like you, they’ve made questionable choices in the past. Like you, they don’t know what combination of chemistry and compatiblity makes for a great partner. Like you, they’re muddling through, doing their best, and realizing that something isn’t working. As Mansplainer-in-Chief, I’m not justifying any male misbehavior. I am saying that the more you can connect with him emotionally on a date, the more likely you’ll see a better side of him.
💖 Get the man of your dreams fast by applying to enroll in Love U. https://www.evanmarckatz.com/apply/podcast
😬 8 Mistakes You’re Making With Men Right Now: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/relationships
Your Inner Voice Is Lying To You
We all have a voice in our head. Michael Singer wrote about it in The Untethered Soul. Echkhart Tolle wrote about it in The Power of Now. And recently, I heard Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, talk about it in a podcast. The problem with the voice in your head is that she’s relentlessly negative and critical, and if you allow her to dictate how you live your life, you’ll never be the best version of yourself. Love U is about helping you overcome your limiting beliefs and get the love you deserve. This is where it all starts.
Get the man of your dreams fast by applying to enroll in Love U. https://www.evanmarckatz.com/apply/podcast
Are You Unintentionally Pushing Him Away?
Love is scary, especially if you’ve been burned by men repeatedly. Women who are repeatedly burned by men often got a broken template in childhood about what healthy masculine love looks and feels like. Abusive, critical, selfish, unavailable fathers set the tone for the kind of men women choose in the future, to the point where every man feels equally unsafe. In Love U, we break down these patterns and rewire women to value men who are consistent and kind. But what happens when a guy is being good to you and you discover you’re pulling away and keeping your distance? That’s the topic of this Love U Podcast. Stick around.
Get the man of your dreams fast by applying to enroll in Love U. https://www.evanmarckatz.com/apply/podcast
The Value of Being Nice
Nice is one of those words that everyone says they value. But when it comes to attraction, more people – men and women – gravitate towards confident, funny and rich over “nice”. It’s a shame because there aren’t too many traits more important to a relationship than nice. Nice may mean selfless, nice may mean thoughtful, nice may mean “willing to compromise”, nice may mean “resolving conflict easily,” nice may mean being sensitive to your emotional needs, but without it, your relationship is sunk. I’m not the nicest guy in the world, but recently, I got a few lessons in the value of being nice. I hope it inspires you to go the extra mile to be nice to strangers and loved ones alike.
Get the man of your dreams fast by applying to enroll in Love U. https://www.evanmarckatz.com/apply/podcast
Does He Have to Be Interesting for You to Be Interested?
I’ll admit: I’m a bit of an intellectual snob. Okay, maybe a lot. Listen, I don’t have many hobbies, so I read a lot and nothing turns me on more than great conversation and sparkling wit. I spent a decade trying to find an Ivy League grad who also had a gift for banter – only to discover that few people possess those respective skill sets. The few that did…usually dumped me. It got me to think: maybe my obsession with finding the smartest, most interesting woman in the world was getting in the way of my long-term happiness. The evolution of my thinking on this topic changed my life. Maybe it’ll change yours as well.
Get the man of your dreams fast by applying to enroll in Love U. https://www.evanmarckatz.com/apply/podcast
Have Boys Become More Like Girls?
Second wave feminism was great for women in the United States. Today, more women graduate college than ever before and more women are financially independent than ever before. The result of this is that because women don’t “need” men to provide for them, far more women are choosing not to get married and to exit bad marriages. On top of that, the qualities it takes to succeed in the workplace: tenacity, competitiveness, strong opinions, leadership – have been prototypically coded as masculine. It would not be too much of a stretch to say that as women have become more masculine, men have become more feminine – less likely to be ambitious, less likely to call and plan and pay, less likely to drive dating and relationships forward. What does this mean for smart, successful women who are looking to date their equals? Stick around and I’ll do my best to explain.
Get the man of your dreams fast by applying to enroll in Love U. https://www.evanmarckatz.com/apply/podcast
